Archive for September, 2010

Dear Bev, my husband is really struggling and I want him to do your workshop but he keeps resisting. What can I do to get him to seek help?

                                                                                          Sue

Dear Sue,

                  no matter how difficult it may seem, you need to step back and let him decide that his own wellbeing is important to him to take this step. When we step in for someone else, we invest in their lack, not in their empowerment. If this happens often, the person comes to rely on others bailing them out and, in doing so, finds there are certain benefits in staying stuck.

                    It is vitally important that the person who needs help is actually seeking it and is not just waiting to be rescued. The best approach is to clarify for yourself your own options if this does not change. If you want to help your husband, ask himwhat he wants to happen next and whether he would like you to help. If not, then you can only choose what works best for you.You can’t do a thing abut changing another but you do need to attend to yourself. Dragging someone into recovery simply does not work but you can hold out an example of wellbeing to another that they may want to reach for in themselves.